The Optimist – Anthony Statham

I walked through a rather large puddle and wondered if I slipped and fell and tore my ACL or MCL how much paid leave I’d get from my employer. Turns out I walked right through the puddle, didn’t even get my toes wet.

A miracle.

I crossed a large intersection with no cars. A woman walked toward me and flitted off to the right. I didn’t have to adjust my path at all.

Kind of her.

My lips felt a bit chapped. I was pretty sure I’d forgotten my chap stick at home but when I reached into my pocket just in case – there it was.

I applied it in due haste.

You know that feeling you get sometimes in the morning – that, hey a coffee sounds great right about now – feeling? Low and behold a coffee shop appeared like a mirage. To make a pretty nice moment even better a young woman approached me and handed me a voucher for a free coffee.

The coffee warmed my hands.

I punched the button for the elevator with plenty of time to get into the office before work officially began. The elevator was empty except for a five Yuan note.

I have plenty of money so I left it for the next person.

Being first in the office is nice. It’s quiet and I can set the thermostat to whatever temperature I prefer.

Godlike power.

I knew everybody would arrive soon and probably want some coffee so I ground beans and got water from the cooler. I poured the water into the coffee maker and was jolted every so slightly by a puff of steam and a gurgle of heat interacting with the cool.


No one was around so I sat in a chair and watched the coffee brew. It gurgled and burped its normal routine and then exploded.

Glass shrapnel and boiling coffee in my face and eyes.

The pain was excruciating but I maintained consciousness throughout. I wondered who would arrive first to see me in this embarrassing state, though I was sure whoever it was wouldn’t mind helping me up and getting me to the hospital.

Accidents happen.


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